New poetry video: “Dear”

Hi, everyone! A bit of a more personal post today. This year Loud Poets is working with the great folks at Fathers Network Scotland to make poetry about dads and widen the conversation about contemporary fatherhood. In January I filmed a poetry video and interview with them about my experience of being a donor-conceived child. I’ve performed this piece quite a lot to live audiences, but I’ve been hesitant in the past to put it online, because it’s really important to me that I not invade the privacy of my family; it’s one thing to be a confessional artist who’s comfortable sharing my personal life with strangers, but I never want that sharing to backfire and to hurt those I love. (I’ve written about the strange and shifting boundaries of being a confessional artist in the digital age here and here).

But—with my family’s blessing—today I’m sharing that poem and interview. One of the reasons I’m putting it online is to celebrate my father, in all his goofy, stubborn glory. Dad, I love you lots; thanks for being gracious and allowing me to share our story.

Another reason I’m sharing this is because we so rarely talk about donor conception, or other kinds of assisted fertility, other than in awkward comedies. And it is funny, in many ways; I don’t take the circumstances of my birth too seriously in part because they are a bit ridiculous. But for many donor-conceived kids, the circumstances of their conception DO matter, massively, and these kids don’t really have platforms through which to talk about it. The huge diversity of ways people are made and shaped nowadays is, I think, something that deserves a little more visibility, and a lot more acceptance.

Thank you so much to the Fathers Network for making this video, and for all the important work you do to support gender equality starting in the family. Also thanks to the Scottish Poetry Library for letting us film in your beautiful space. To learn more about donor conception, check out the resources provided by the Donor Conception Network. Hope you enjoy the video, and have a great weekend!

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